he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize