Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
