Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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