Just fell off a train. Bad.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize