Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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