i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
