Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My cat gives me a boner
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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