idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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