Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
