Kiss
Puke
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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