she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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