I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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