My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
