His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize