Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
