i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you would pick up someone in the library
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
