508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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