Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize