I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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