I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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