And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
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I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
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I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?