i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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