I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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