Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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