and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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