I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
