Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
