He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
