I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
