TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
