hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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