I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
