so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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