I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
