Quick, to the slutcave!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
