I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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