I don't think brook has ever known best
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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