You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
