1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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