My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
