I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
