Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I will be naked everywhere
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
