Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
