Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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