I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
