I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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