Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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