so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
