i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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