Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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