I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
