do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
