He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
