he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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