I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
