From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
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You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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