my vag is so smooth its legendary
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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