Say something about gay babies.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
