Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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