After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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