My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
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We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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