I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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