So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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