i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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