i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
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He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize