you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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