i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
